I know, I know, I promised to stay apawlitical in this blog but just couldn’t help myself after yet another year seems to go down the drain. Someone, pul-ease plug that hole! When I heard that the government is still shut down, I said to Sky, “bro, they can’t do that man”. All those people without a treat-check, who is going to pay for their yummies? I certainly would not stand for that. It ain’t right. So I’m thinking that we need some new blood [where is the bloodhound?] to steer our backyard back in the right, no make that a left, direction.
Ms. Zulu was supposed to run for president but since she got angel wings last year that won’t happen in our reality show. So I will have to take the lead. I’m good at running, I even ran Mach 2+. I know it’s hard to believe but you can read all about it on this blog. It’s in black and white so it has to be true. We even have photos, that’s double poof.
I’m always about facts anyhowls, contrary to the some-bodies currently in charge. It’s a fact that I love to sniff. It’s a fact that we doggies can analyze different smells way better than the two-legged ones. It’s a fact that I can smell something fishy from far far away. You can say I’m a real fact tracker. I can sniff out the house – that’s supposed to be crystal clear white- to see if there is something fishy going on there that troubles the waters. If it is, I guarantee you that I will piss on it. And I think I can convince Sky to do the same.
If you vote for me I will guarantee you that I will personally dig some big tunnels under the wall that has been the talk of the backyard. The tunnels might also be helpful to bypass the pesky trade sanctions. I can get some chewers to work on the wall itself too. I’m sure I can get all my fur-iends to help me with those tasks. Mark my words. Yes, it will be great, it will be Aa-mazing. And no, I won’t bark “I never barked that”.
I am nominating Sky as my running mate. He still has a lot to learn but at his rate, he will soon outrun the major golfers playing in the house that’s not so purely clean. And for those who don’t like imported stuff, they won’t have to be afraid of us. I personally guarantee that Sky and I are both registered as 100% All-American. Take my bark for it.
If you vote for Sky and me in November 2020 we promise:
- Less barking, more digging
- No barking up the wrong tree
- Yummies for e-furry body
- Lots of tunnels
- More sniffing
- Plenty of chewing on a bone
- Sky high jumping
- Border Collie stamina & higher intelligence
Benji & running mate Sky
Two really smart dogsters
– Make our Backyard great again –